Dear Santa,

Hey big guy, it’s your boy Charro at the Houston Museum of Natural Science’s Cockrell Butterfly Center. I’m the green iguana that gets all the media attention. They use me to promote everything, from memberships to shopping. They call me green even though I am mostly orange. I don’t make the rules.

Anyhow, the team here wanted me to write you one of those “An animal that can’t read or write sends a cute letter to Santa Claus” and here I am. They said I am getting one of those cool fruit and veggie trays for doing this and posing in a Christmas hat, and I never say no to free food. Kinda like you, drinking free milk and eating cookies at millions of homes once a year. Don’t you crash from all the sugar eventually? All that dairy can’t be good either. Some of that milk isn’t kept cold. Warm milk and stale cookies, usually set out next to a roaring fireplace? Dude, that’s hardcore asking for a tummy ache.

For Christmas this year I really don’t need anything myself. I have everything I need. Well, one of those cool, weighted blankets might be nice if it actually ever gets cold in Houston. At this rate, we might be getting sunburns and eating hot dogs next to the pool on Christmas Day. I would also like the Astros to sign George Springer to a lifetime contract. I love that dude.

All kidding aside, I would love for you to bring happiness and joy to everyone in Houston. I want a super-cool vaccine to make everyone safe, so I can see more of my old friends. It looks like many scientists are getting close to a solution!

I see so many people come through the museum and I know that this year hasn’t been easy for anyone. I see the tired, but excited faces. The beleaguered eyes that get a much-needed distraction from real life by watching the butterflies flutter around. For a few minutes, the scary outside world falls away.

When we were closed for a few months when COVID-19 started, I had the run of the butterfly center and as much as I loved being able to explore every nook and cranny, I missed hearing kids laugh, or ask if I was a tiny dinosaur. Call me a sentimental dope, but I even missed seeing couples get engaged. I know it sounds corny, but that’s what I want. A lot of people don’t realize it, but since I have been at the museum for so long I have seen many children grow up. I see them on field trips, awkward first dates, and sometimes when they bring their own kids back to visit the butterfly center.

So Santa, if you can make it to the museum on December 25, I would be ever so thankful. I will put your name on my guest list at the museum services desk.

P.S. Oh! I would also like Kate Upton and Justin Verlander to visit the museum with their little one. I am a fan of them both.